Owl Shitty

Most most obnoxiously wimpy song ever.


The first time I heard this song, I was driving. I didn’t think nothing much of it other then it was annoying. It has a been a couple of months since then and I have no heard this song more times then I would have ever like to.

I remember being in the eight grade and hanging out at my friend Eli’s house and listening to Blink 182 ( we didn’t have enough integrity to even listen to Green Day). Eli’s dad came home from work on his Harley with a six pack of beer. As he was walking to his hydroponics grow operation, he paused and asked the “what the fuck are you guys listening to?” Eli replied, “ Blink 182”. Without skipping a beat, Eli’s dad, stopped the CD, removed from the stereo and quickly broke it in half. He then went on to lecture us about how all new bands are “pussies” and all they sing about is their “broken ass hearts.” He placed in Eli’s hand a Led Zepplin compilation and said, “In my day , bands sung about sex and drugs…and it was good.” From that day forward Eli would only listen to Led Zepplin and later on TOOL, bands Eli’s dad approved. When he heard Queens of the Stone Age on the radio, he was relieved and said “thank god some bands know how to do it right.”

What Eli’s dad experienced walking in on us listening to Blink 182 is how I felt when I heard Owl City’s “Fire Flies.” a song so obnoxiously sensitive and wimpy that my scrotum cowered into my abdomen in an attempt to spare itself of the overwhelming pussitude emitting from the song. There’s nothing wrong with sensitive music, I’m a admittedly a pretty big fan of Belle and Sebastian and Smiths, bands that while sensitive and gentle have something vaguely edgy and interesting going on thematically or musically.

Owl City however, take the Postal Service’s (an inoffensive electro-indie pop ensemble fronted by the ever whiney Ben Gibbard of Death Cab) sound and dress it up with Christian Rockesque, epic worship and praise and crescendo and studio gloss. I have little doubt in my mind that Eli’s uncompromisingly macho dad would hate this song as much as I do and feel compelled to break the radio and kick an ass or two.

I fear that if a generation of young men continue to listen to bands like Owl City and Ben Gibbard they will grow up to spinelss, whiney pussies that can’t look a woman straight in the eyes without getting butterflies…sorry fireflies in their stomach. This dynamic would lead to greater social problems regarding gender roles.

As far as I Know there hasn’t been a truly kick ass mainstream rock band since the Queens of the Stone Age, sadly. Unfortunately newer major label acts like, TV on the Radio never got much radio love outside of college rock stations. It would be nice to hear something new that advocates sex, drugs and rock n roll on the radio but until then ,the Stooge’s “Penetration” seems to be the perfect antidote to all this Ben Gibbard and Ben Gibbard influenced shit.



The perfect antidote.

R.I.P Mark Linkous aka Sparklehorse

It was literally up until this morning. I’m Listening to Vivadixiesubmarine, Sparklehorse’s first album. I’m listening and grieving. Sparklehorse has been one of my favorite bands for sometime now. When I heard that Mark Linkous died, I was shocked yet not surprised, given his history with depression and delicate somber nature of his music. Sparklehorse music was perhaps too idiosyncratic and surreal and sad to ever reach an a larger audience outside of the indie underground, regardless of his affiliation with larger acts such as the Flaming Lips, PJ Harvey, Tom Waits Dangermouse and Radiohead . I am grateful for the records he left behind, each brillians in it’s own way. I feel truly privileged to have seen Sparklehorse in concert, which to this day is the best live show I have ever experienced. I can only hope that his music continues to comfort people and maybe one day gain an much deserved larger audience in the future to come a la Nick Drake.

Ramblin

URGH.

I can sense my quarter-life crisis coming on…My future is uncertain and this is scary. I’m finding it progressively harder get out of bed in the morning. The sight of UNM campus pissed me off fills my head with animosity and rage. I’m pissed off that I’ve accumulated debt getting degree that is fundamentally useless.

Fuck Math

Algebra has become the bane of my existence. I really have been trying to do well at, I go to tutoring for at least a couple hours everyday but continue to confuse my self and makes small mistakes that fuck up everything. I swear that sometimes if I stare at the numbers long enough they get fuzzy and begin to resemble television static.

Fuck Women, Relationships and Dating

Dating seems stupid and pointless. Women my age and older are for the most part and understandably so- attracted to older guys with wealth and status. Guys that are in law school or becoming architects. I could get with girls that are younger but they are usually kind of dumb and uninteresting. They talk about stupid things likes how they were going to buy this one purse but opted to buy another purse instead or how great the Talking Heads are because they just discovered “Once in a lifetime” and are so over the Arcade Fire. I do not have the gumption to listen to that kind of nonsense. Use em for they’re worth I guess.

My options are to become hollow shell of a man and bed dumb girl after dumb girl or become complacent in a relationship with a girl that is possessive, needy and emotionally draining ( Cuz, face most of them are…). Neither of these option strike my fancy.

I’d rather just have a nice casual fling once in while, my biggest fear is having my freedom and independence stripped from me. The cost of being in a relationship seems to outweigh the benefits. No piece of ass, no mater how beautiful or engaging is worth my undivided attention and I’ll be damned if I have some woman tell what I can and can not do.

Fuck Allergies

They’re an inconvenience.

Fuck Mediocre Bands that wear their hearts on their sleeves.

Fuck band like Death Cab for Cutie. Boring and uninteresting. Ben Gibbards’ lyrical complexity more or less on par with the diary scribblings of an unkissed high school virgin. Even Coldplay is edgier then them.

Fuck Movies:

Most of them are too long and too expensive.

Fuck Hipsters

All they do is bitch about other hipsters and talk about books they’ve never even read.

Fuck Bros:

Video games and extreme sports are only cool if you are 12 years old. I'm convinced they spend most their money on energy drinks.

Fuck outspoken Gay People:

People would accept them if they didn’t makes such a big deal out of the fact that they are gay. We get it’s cool.

Fuck Political Activist:

You are nothing more then a walking bumper sticker.

Fuck the Government:

A self-serving mafia.

Fuck the Police:

Let’s give all the High school bullies of the world a gun and authority.

That’s it for now. Guess I’ll keep ramblin.