Owl Shitty

Most most obnoxiously wimpy song ever.


The first time I heard this song, I was driving. I didn’t think nothing much of it other then it was annoying. It has a been a couple of months since then and I have no heard this song more times then I would have ever like to.

I remember being in the eight grade and hanging out at my friend Eli’s house and listening to Blink 182 ( we didn’t have enough integrity to even listen to Green Day). Eli’s dad came home from work on his Harley with a six pack of beer. As he was walking to his hydroponics grow operation, he paused and asked the “what the fuck are you guys listening to?” Eli replied, “ Blink 182”. Without skipping a beat, Eli’s dad, stopped the CD, removed from the stereo and quickly broke it in half. He then went on to lecture us about how all new bands are “pussies” and all they sing about is their “broken ass hearts.” He placed in Eli’s hand a Led Zepplin compilation and said, “In my day , bands sung about sex and drugs…and it was good.” From that day forward Eli would only listen to Led Zepplin and later on TOOL, bands Eli’s dad approved. When he heard Queens of the Stone Age on the radio, he was relieved and said “thank god some bands know how to do it right.”

What Eli’s dad experienced walking in on us listening to Blink 182 is how I felt when I heard Owl City’s “Fire Flies.” a song so obnoxiously sensitive and wimpy that my scrotum cowered into my abdomen in an attempt to spare itself of the overwhelming pussitude emitting from the song. There’s nothing wrong with sensitive music, I’m a admittedly a pretty big fan of Belle and Sebastian and Smiths, bands that while sensitive and gentle have something vaguely edgy and interesting going on thematically or musically.

Owl City however, take the Postal Service’s (an inoffensive electro-indie pop ensemble fronted by the ever whiney Ben Gibbard of Death Cab) sound and dress it up with Christian Rockesque, epic worship and praise and crescendo and studio gloss. I have little doubt in my mind that Eli’s uncompromisingly macho dad would hate this song as much as I do and feel compelled to break the radio and kick an ass or two.

I fear that if a generation of young men continue to listen to bands like Owl City and Ben Gibbard they will grow up to spinelss, whiney pussies that can’t look a woman straight in the eyes without getting butterflies…sorry fireflies in their stomach. This dynamic would lead to greater social problems regarding gender roles.

As far as I Know there hasn’t been a truly kick ass mainstream rock band since the Queens of the Stone Age, sadly. Unfortunately newer major label acts like, TV on the Radio never got much radio love outside of college rock stations. It would be nice to hear something new that advocates sex, drugs and rock n roll on the radio but until then ,the Stooge’s “Penetration” seems to be the perfect antidote to all this Ben Gibbard and Ben Gibbard influenced shit.



The perfect antidote.

R.I.P Mark Linkous aka Sparklehorse

It was literally up until this morning. I’m Listening to Vivadixiesubmarine, Sparklehorse’s first album. I’m listening and grieving. Sparklehorse has been one of my favorite bands for sometime now. When I heard that Mark Linkous died, I was shocked yet not surprised, given his history with depression and delicate somber nature of his music. Sparklehorse music was perhaps too idiosyncratic and surreal and sad to ever reach an a larger audience outside of the indie underground, regardless of his affiliation with larger acts such as the Flaming Lips, PJ Harvey, Tom Waits Dangermouse and Radiohead . I am grateful for the records he left behind, each brillians in it’s own way. I feel truly privileged to have seen Sparklehorse in concert, which to this day is the best live show I have ever experienced. I can only hope that his music continues to comfort people and maybe one day gain an much deserved larger audience in the future to come a la Nick Drake.